Blather on Bicycling

My rides to and from work give me some experience riding in town. This experience along with the many hours I spend on the county roads have given me good insight into the driving habbits of civilians. In the process I’ve decided to outline some tips for drivers, from a cyclists perspective. I’d say only about 5% of drivers follow these guidelines in our area, so 95% have something to learn:

1. When you want to make a right turn and you are driving up behind a cyclist, speed ahead so that you just clear the cyclist and then make the turn. This will ensure there is a good chance you T-bone the cyclist on your passenger door.
2. If you are on a narrow country road and you see a cyclist and an oncoming car ahead, make sure you time your speed just right so that a 3-wide situation happens.
3. When a dog is running wild by the road and a cyclist is in the vacinity, remain oblivious to both so that when the dog bolts in front of your vehicle, your knee-jerk reaction will kill either the dog or the cyclist.
4. Always drive as fast as possible regardless of the nature of the road or weather condition. This equals 70+ for sports cars, 60+ for jacked up pickups and commercial vehicles, and 55+ for log and dump trucks.
5. When coming to stop, never come to a complete stop. Keep edging forward, neither hitting the brake nor hitting the gas. Also, don’t make eye contact with the cyclist to let them know you acknowledge they are coming.
6. While passing a cyclist, yell something out the window that sounds mean. Never mind that the cyclist cannot understand a word you are saying. The point is that what you are saying is hilariously funny and the others in the car/truck will enjoy your humor.