Blather on Bicycling

When I first arrived in Australia, I was expecting to come to some type of new and different place, but as I drove to Canberra I thought I was back in Texas again, where I lived for 3 years. For starters, the language barrier has been a bit difficult to overcome, but not as difficult as the language barrier in Texas. The landscape is surprisingly like Texas, which reminded me of northern California. So I guess this part of Australia reminds me of NoCal. But then again, while driving toward the Outback, the scenery change was reminding me of of the landscape transition from north Texas driving toward west Texas. So I guess Australia reminds me more of WesTex. But then again, Canberra reminds me of another capital I’m familiar with, Boise. It has a similar population and a similar climate with heaps of rednecks (er…bushmen) drivers that barrel by you at high speed, which reminds me of drivers in Texas and California. Plus, the roads are littered with trash, glass, and odd debris, which reminds me of Boise, Texas, and California. My increasingly obvious point is that I have come to a vacation (err. . .”holiday”) place that reminds me of back home in The States, except that it is a bizarro world. I’ll explain.

Everything is the same, but opposite here. I thought this was just cliche, but the opposition is rampant. There’s the obvious, like driving on the left side of the road and opposite circling water, so I won’t include them on the list. Other examples include:

• The wind blows all the time, but the cold wind comes from the south instead of from the north.
• When you drive north in Australia it starts getting warmer.
• The Australian continent kind of looks like the United States when you flip it upside down and look at it in a mirror.
• The level of roadkill is impressive, rivaling Texas in volume. Instead of deer, armadillos, and dogs, it is roos, echidnas, and big rabbits.
• I went to the horse races and they were racing the opposite direction.
• Orion is upside down in the night sky.
• In the States only 1 star is needed to identify north, here the south is identified by a constellation.
• There are stores that are exactly like Wal-mart, except that they are not Wal-mart, they are Big W and not owned by Wal-mart.
• Babies here go back into the mother’s stomach. This is true, because I saw it with my own eyes.
• The popular vehicle is a truck, just like in Oregon, except here it is a car with a truck bed. They even have flatbeds on them.
• Cars have exhaust pipes, but instead of pointing back behind the vehicle, the go above and in front of the vehicle.
• Bike helmets are uses as a weapon, not protection. This is because birds don’t like you here and will attack you on your bike, so many cyclists have spikes installed on their helmets.
• The foods have a lot of sugar, except that it is wheat based instead of corn based.
• The list goes on forever.

In reality, Australian are very similar to Americans, except that everyone has something weird going on with their hair and their cars here. So I’m often left thinking I’m back home in the US, until I see a kangaroo, brilliant cockatoo flying by, or a fancy 80s mullet hairdo. On second thought, the last one reminds me of home too.

While the riding isn’t exactly paradise here because of the debris, Canberra makes up for that by offering competitive riding throughout the week. The town is the size of Boise in population and reminds me of Boise in both climate and attitude. I would estimate Canberra has 10 times as many cyclists though. There are probably at least that many mountain bikers too. And the riding paths, trails, and bike lanes abound. The riders are very fast here, and they like to ride in packs and break for tea (i.e. espresso) every ride. Even the solo commuters ride with a hellbent fervor, as if they are involved in a race to work. Now those are some attitudes I can definitely assimilate with!