Memorable, yes. Fun, no. That is my impression of my first triathlon experience. I drove over the hill to do the Onionman in Walla Walla today. I’ll give some reflections below of a bicycle racer’s attempt to test the waters of tri:
Swim: Flailing wildly, fading vision, asphyxiation, and sloshing water sounds. I think those are the symptoms of drowning, but they also describe my swim experience. Fortunately, I had on a borrowed wetsuit that also worked as a flotation device and saved my life. Swimming in a triathlon is pure chaos. All of the technique I had been working on in the pool became worthless. If the swim was a Taekwondo competition, I would have done well. I managed to avoid getting kicked the whole swim, while landing a half dozen Chuck Norris’ of my own.
I probably spent too much of the swim watching the festivities. A number of times I saw people swimming at a right angle across the rest of the crowd. It was funny seeing their disoriented reaction when the looked up to see everyone behind them swimming a different direction. One thing I did well, was swim a straight line; however, I have to credit the crooked swimmers because they were in front of me. Also, I somehow had enough sensory perception to recognize my old college professor and boss in a canoe cajoling some swimmers to turn and get back on course. In front of me, somehow a guy was bobbing yet still moving forward at the same speed I was. Then, to the other side someone else was executing some perfect swimming strokes and also moving at the same speed. I was splitting the difference with a hack-job of various strokes.
As I approached the final buoy for the first lap, I heard the crowd cheering and caught a glimpse of someone running up the boat ramp, but I refused to believe a swimmer was actually done. After the turn, I looked back to see how many were behind me. I was surprised to see a big crowd of swimmers, but shortly I realized it was the front pack heading for shore, and I had just begun lap 2 of 2. Soon, I started dreaming of sitting on a bike. Somehow the bobber held me off until the very end. Eventually, I staggered onto land well-hydrated by Bennington Lake. Hopefully, the dead fish I jumped over before entering the water isn’t a sign of a future intestinal manifestation.
Bike: My tactical decision to come out of the water last, was a boon. Doing this means there is basically no chance you will be passed on the bike, so it is a great confidence booster. Once I got on my bike, the road became a conveyor belt of riders traveling backward in relation to me. I can say that the belief that triathletes are poor bike handlers is true. I had quite a few adventures trying to pass riders who were all over the place. I heard lots of talk about wind, but I don’t remember any. Maybe that is why my average speed wasn’t that great.
Run: I’ve had several people recommend taking it easy the last few kilometers on the bike, to set up good legs for a run. I completely ignored this advice, because I figured the only place I would be making up time is on the bike. So, I was pushing hard right up to the transition and still passing people. This ended up being a good decision because my legs felt great during the run; no heavy legs, like I was warned about. I did develop some heart-attack symptoms that didn’t subside until the halfway point of the run. I think the pain was a by product of Bennington swamp water. I kept feeling better and better as the run progressed and finished feeling good. I was surprised that I held my own during the run and even passed quite a few people, include some that passed me earlier.
Final Result: 73rd of 190 participants. 9th in age group, 9th on the bike, 82nd run, and a killer 182nd place swim. See full results.
At risk of sounding like a jaded bad swimmer, I’m still not understanding the rationale of a triathlon. The sequence of sports doesn’t make sense to me. From a practical standpoint, if you’re trying to move across the earth at a fast pace to avoid being caught or trying to catch someone, why would a bike be waiting for you after you come out of water? Why stop with the bike? Couldn’t you have a horse or car waiting for you at the end of the bicycle segment? On the other hand, if the point is the fastest human powered way from Point A to Point B (interrupted by water), then why not use some type of paddle and boat through the water. I did The Great Race in upstate New York awhile ago with a teammate. In this triathlon, you actually canoe on the water. Genius! Triathlon has to rank near the top of odd combinations of sports in a single event. Nordic combined: Why ski jump for distance, and then race for speed on a different set of skis? Speed golf: hitting a ball as far as you can and then running after it to do it again. Decathlon: throwing a heavy ball and then jumping over sticks? Modern pentathlon: sword fighting, running, and horseback riding? At least the latter 2 have some military basis.
People kept telling me that if I do a triathlon, I would catch the fever. I caught a fever a couple weeks ago, and it is very similar to triathlon fever: nausea, hallucinations, sweating, chest pain. It’s safe to say I’m not looking at the race calendar for my next triathlon. The bottom line is that I was not looking forward to this event. Conversely, I always look forward to bike races. I did enjoy the training and will probably continue cross-training in the future because I think it is beneficial to bike racing. There is even an outside chance that someday I’ll try to make amends for that feeble swimming attempt.
Below are some things I learned, that will probably be worthless knowledge to me:
- Actually practice swimming in open water 1 or more times before the event.
- Use some strong anti-fog in goggles. Saliva doesn’t work.
- Do some swimming to warm up. I kept wondering why everyone was swimming some out and backs when they got in the water. It is to get accustomed to water temperature, not warm-up. This helps prevent hyperventilation.
- Buy a pair of those mini-masks I saw people wearing.
Yesterday, I finally felt somewhat normal after having the sickness from hell that last month. I don’t think I’ve ever had influenza that lasted that long before. So, I’m feeling better just in time for the Mt. Hood stage race later this week. I’m really looking forward to it. Based on the last few races there, I hear I may need to bring a wetsuit. At least I won’t have to swim in it.
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