Let me first identify what I’m not talking about when I say, “I cut my legs.” I didn’t crash. I’ve still got my no-crash streak alive. I haven’t hit the pavement since the late 80s, and this includes some good racing seasons that also included crits. I can’t completely explain why I haven’t crashed, but I think it is more than just good luck. I probably just jinxed myself.
Also, I’m not talking about a nick while shaving. I’ve graduated to year-around shaving, so now I’ve got the process streamlined and cuts are rare.
Here’s what I’m really talking about: After pounding my legs into submission for the last couple years, I’ve recently been noticing a hint of definition. Sometimes a glimpse of these new features shocks me. I need to set up a camera to catch my legs in action sometime, to verify I’m not seeing things. Maybe I’m starting to get those distinctively torn and weathered cycling legs I see at races. A tan definitely isn’t part of that equation, because currently my legs add lots of real estate to “where the sun don’t shine.”
Cyclists ought to be concerned about style, because the beauty of the sport deserves this attention. Exhibiting good form on the bike is paramount regardless of physical condition. When I used to golf daily, I could always pick out the transient golfers who disregarded the morays of the sport. Individuals who carried their bags backward (clubheads aft), knelt to push their tee in, or made any running motion on the course brought disgrace to the sport. Novice cyclists can unknowingly make similar faux pax in relation to cycling, so here are my suggestions to avoid this:
- Unless you’re in a velodrome, never use toe clips: Toe clips are so old-school, they’re beyond vintage.
- “Need anything?”: Whenever passing someone with a flat or mechanical problem, always ask if they have everything they need. The answer is always yes, but the question is still obligatory.
- Never burden yourself with nonessential items: These include, but are not limited to, mirrors, backpacks, visors, bells, stickers, horns, stuffed animals, racks, reflectors, and spoke guards.
- Avoid riding on a sidewalk or walking path: These surfaces are for walking and running, both lower forms of locomotion. Conversely, roads are for cars, also a lower form of transportation. The edge of the road is for cyclists.
- Keep bar tape tidy: Loose or unraveling bar tape is a sign you don’t care about your ride. It is tantamount to eating off a dirty table.
- Always wear jerseys with sleeves: This is a controversial point, especially if it’s hot. Nevertheless, I stick by it. You need to burn pronounced tan lines mid arm, mid thigh, and above wrists as a branding of cycling dedication.
- Wear a modern helmet: I was a key offender here, but now I’ve learned. Vintage can be stylish, but not when it comes to head gear. Helmets are equivalent to hairstyles, and you don’t want to be sporting a mullet nowadays. Aside from the danger of a brittle old helmet, it really dates your cycling era affiliation.
- Keep pedaling cadence high: One of the easiest ways to spot an bad cyclist from afar is a slow cadence. Even if you’re going extremely slow, keep that cadence up.
- Nothing should flap in the wind: All clothing must be tight in order to keep the riding experience clean. The wind should slip off you rather than open your sail.
- Never flip you bike over for a roadside repair: This is bush, childlike behavior. The flip-over ruins your expensive saddle and handlebar equipment. Along with the pedals, these are the only contact points between human and machine. As such, they should receive commensurate respect. So, unless you plan to put some baseball cards between your spokes, hold the bike by the saddle for repairs or lay it gently on it’s side after removing the wheel.
- Skip your Ipod: Why listen to tunes, when you can enjoy everything else? Besides, it’s against the law in many states to operate a vehicle with headphones on.
- When catching another rider from behind, always ease up a bit, catch your breath, and then throttle by with a polite greeting as if you’re out for an easy ride: Okay, that’s poor style, and shouldn’t be on the list. Instead, easy up for a friendly chat.
Here is an additional rapid-fire list of obvious style violations:
- Kickstands
- Riding on the left side of the road
- Tossing your bike in the back of a pickup
- Littering
- Failing to signal (to other riders and cars)
- Taking it easy on a climb
These are NOT style violations, or myths about style:
- Wearing spandex, regardless of abdominal girth
- Downtube shifters
- Vintage bikes
- Panniers or other touring gear
- Spinning casually along
- Hairy legs (even for females)
- American-made bikes
Before you get too put off by any of the above, realize that I’m saying these mostly tongue-in-cheek. Being out on a bike in any form is a good thing. Add your take below, or point out something I missed.
